Wednesday, December 29, 2010

My 11 goals for 2011

- I am a little early on the party it doesn't start until tonight!!I saw this fun party at The House Creative and thought I would give it a shot!! I hope I can come up with 11 , here we go :
1. I want to FORGIVE.. that is a big one for me.. 2010 was great but it was filled with a lot of pain for me too!! I want to find a way to let go of some of that and just MOVE ON ...
2. I want to be more patient.. this is a goal I wake up with almost every morning but by mid-day I have given up on it lol!
3. I want to yell less.. sometimes I hear myself and I am so embarrased. I set this goal for myself awhile ago.. and have done so much better since. But there more room for improvement.
4. I want to save more and spend less!! This is one we decided to work on last year when we were listing our resolutions.. and I am happy to say we have stuck with it!! For the most part:)
5. I want to get more comfortable cooking for my family. Well I should say I want to learn to like cooking ... I have gone out of my comfort zone and tried a few things in this awesome cookbook that I found!! I was pretty proud of myself when everything turned out edible!! :)
6. LESS TV. This is a big one.. we are a tv loving family. I have started to limit our time in front of the tv and use that time to learn and make memories with my kids.
7.I want to stress less about my son and just enjoy him!! I am always worried about whether he is getting what he needs and if I am doing a good enough job. As he would say" I need to take a chill pill."
8.I want to learn how to sew... I have been on the look out for any really easy tutorials.. I mean EASY!!! I just got a cute little sewing machine for Christmas and I am SO determined to put it to good use.
9. I want to do a better job of letting the people who are important to me know that they are. I always think man I should let them know how thankful I am for what they do.. but then life happens and that moment just passes me by. I do have SO many amazing and supportive people in my life and I need to make sure they know it!!
10.I hope in this next year to make the decision on whether or not I want more little munchkins. There are times that I want one more.. I crave a baby.. I yearn for that little baby smell and I am so sure that we have to have another baby. But then I look at the 2 beautiful kids I have and I am content.. It feels so well balanced and I am terrified that I will overwhelm myself with another one. I will tell you that I was so scared when my daughter was born.. the first time I took the 2 of them to the store alone .. I attempted to get them both out of the car.. got so frustrated.. buckled them both in .. then called my mom and cried my eyes out!! I was sure that there was no way I could handle two living creatures that were going to look to me for everything that they needed to survive. I WAS SO OVER WHELMED!!! It seems so silly now.. because I have learned how to balance the 2 of them... plus there is 2 of us.. its an equal playing field.. I am scared for them to out number us lol!!!
11. Just be more happy and healthy.. I have a strong addiction to my best friend
Mr. Rockstar. I am convinced I can't make it through my day , or through work with out it!!! Now I am not saying I want to let my best buddy go... but maybe if I started eating healthier and tried to stress less I wouldn't need so much JUICE to get me going :) I can hope right?!!

So here is my big idea.. if I focus on #1 and #11 - which is if I learn to forgive and let go .. and start being a healthier person then I will be happier and more patient(#2).. giving me more patient to waste on learning to cook (#5) therefor saving money on eating out (#4) I will feel so good about myself after my new found patience that I will be to happy to yell anymore (#3) and then I would enjoy my kids so much that I would decide I had it all figured out and want another one right away (#10) and we will be way to busy with a new addition that we won't have time to watch tv(#6) and I will have so much time to learn how to sew.. (#8) and I will make so many cute things for the people I care about .. and everyone will know how much I love and appreciate them with my handmade gifts(#9).. geez that sounds like alot of work.. makes me want a ROCKSTAR.. lol!! Hey you can't win them all right :)

Monday, December 27, 2010

The best things I ever made....

I love these 2 so much I can't stand it!! I just had to share this picture because this pretty much sums them both up... my beautiful little princess and my silly little man!!!
We had the BEST christmas we have ever had yet.. I am a little sad that its over!! But we made some great memories this year:)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I am so blessed...

TO HAVE YOU GUYS!! Seriously!! You guys are all so amazing!! I was in tears reading your comments to my post about my son.. I was moved by your honestly and your ability to step out side your own lives and relate to ME!!
I wish I could honestly tell you how much better it made me feel.. I thought back on it and almost regretted posting something so personal!! I hate admitting that I don't have everything under control.. but all of you have shown me that it is ok to struggle. And seriously.. when I am having a down day I will read these comments OVER AND OVER and know that it is not just me and it is not just him.
I was alarmed to hear how many of you were told the same things about your own children or even about yourselves.. and I am glad to hear that I am not alone in fighting against others opinions and trying my hardest to do whats best for my child. Thank you for helping me beleive in myself to do right thing!!
We have been doing so much better.. I think it helped to clear my head and release some of that stress by writing about it. It gave me a chance to take a step back and decide how we could approach him in a better way!! If I stay calm.. and patient then he deals with things so much better too!!!
My mom knew how much I have been struggling and she saw a segment on Dr. Phil.. I can't ever decide how I feel about that man lol. My mother is my biggest supporter.. she is always telling me that my son is perfect and raving about what a good mother I am to anyone who will listen.. she has listened to me countless times cry in frustration .. I beg her for answers... and I look to her to tell me that I am doing an ok job!! Anyways.. back to Dr. Phil(can you tell how much I love my mom yet:)) - he recently had a segment with a family that reminded my mother a lot of mine and she recommended that we try the book by the counselor who had been on the show. The book is called "Your not the boss of me" by Betsy Brown Braun. I bought it.. I normally would not do this kind of thing... again the struggle to admit I don't have control.. but I thought what can it hurt.. Uh.. it hurt nothing..because IT IS AMAZING!!There are so many great things in this book!! Things I never. ever. EVER thought about trying. I tried today to incorporate some of things I have read and it made a HUGE difference .. and I haven't even finished the first chapter yet!! My husband said he would read the first chapter and see what it was about.. and he loves it too.. he is even farther in the book then I am(but I was busy getting my son to get his homework dons so I deserve some points for that too lol)!!I just wanted to pass that along.. I felt like I needed to offer something after all the amazing advice and input that you guys gave me!!
Thanks again for being so AWESOME!!! I LOVE MY BLOGGY FRIENDS:)

P.S.I couldn't help but show you this cute little guy with his little sister!! He is such a good big brother!!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I am struggling...

This has nothing to do with crafts.. but I am really struggling with something and I am hoping that writing it down might help me understand it.. or even just get it out.
I feel like the WORST mom.. I struggle with feeling like I am doing a good enough job every day - what mom doesn't? right? but it is starting to take over my whole life.
My son is 6 .. and I feel like I have FAILED him. Because as a mom it is your job to make these little creatures into respectful, successful adults- and when they act naughty everyone looks to you like "what did you do wrong?" And I am always feeling like "what did I do wrong?" Now I know that most of you are thinking I am way to hard on myself and my son.. but I have been told since he was two by strangers, friends and family that he is out control.I have been asked if he has ADD? I have been told he needs more structure, that he is a very frustrated and angry child.
Everyone tells you how wonderful having children is, that you will love them more then you can say, that it will change you and be the most amazing experience of your life!! And all that is totally true.. but what they don't tell you is how much you will battle yourself, question yourself, and wonder everyday if you are doing the right thing!!
I am not the kind of person who was just born to be a mom.. I love my kids with every thing inside me .. but I am not naturally patient or understanding. I have to fake the patience, and bite my tongue when my son yells horrible to me.
I guess I just need to hear that it will get easier.. that if I keep doing the right thing he will be ok!! That if I love him enough and try hard enough that he will start making the right choices on his own.
Tonight all I can do is beg for the strength to do it all over again tomorrow!!!