This has nothing to do with crafts.. but I am really struggling with something and I am hoping that writing it down might help me understand it.. or even just get it out.
I feel like the WORST mom.. I struggle with feeling like I am doing a good enough job every day - what mom doesn't? right? but it is starting to take over my whole life.
My son is 6 .. and I feel like I have FAILED him. Because as a mom it is your job to make these little creatures into respectful, successful adults- and when they act naughty everyone looks to you like "what did you do wrong?" And I am always feeling like "what did I do wrong?" Now I know that most of you are thinking I am way to hard on myself and my son.. but I have been told since he was two by strangers, friends and family that he is out control.I have been asked if he has ADD? I have been told he needs more structure, that he is a very frustrated and angry child.
Everyone tells you how wonderful having children is, that you will love them more then you can say, that it will change you and be the most amazing experience of your life!! And all that is totally true.. but what they don't tell you is how much you will battle yourself, question yourself, and wonder everyday if you are doing the right thing!!
I am not the kind of person who was just born to be a mom.. I love my kids with every thing inside me .. but I am not naturally patient or understanding. I have to fake the patience, and bite my tongue when my son yells horrible to me.
I guess I just need to hear that it will get easier.. that if I keep doing the right thing he will be ok!! That if I love him enough and try hard enough that he will start making the right choices on his own.
Tonight all I can do is beg for the strength to do it all over again tomorrow!!!